Turdasaurus – Real Potty Talk

Are you looking to improve your vulgar vernacular? Or perhaps you’re already potty talking proficient and have some dirty phraseology to share?

The Turdasaurus is an invaluable resource for all potty talking enthusiasts. Think of it as an encyclopedia of sorts, an online treasure chest of poop-oriented prose, a linguistic trading ground where you can lend and borrow the most jaw-dropping, smart-witted, LOL-inducing toilet talk the internet has ever known.

Perhaps you have some craptastic words or phrases to share? By all means be our guest. We’ll even throw a free bottle of Spray & Go your way to show you how excremently grateful we are.

Don’t be poopanoid, no one will know you plopped by to visit.

Enjoy!

A - E

After-bog bounce (noun) – when someone has just let a load off in the bathroom and exits with an extra spring in their step. Wow, that guy’s got a serious ABB happening.

After-grog bog (noun) – an after-grog bog (or AGB) is the poop you do after a big night of drinking.

Back bogged (adjective) – when you haven’t pooped in days and now you have a backlog of poops in your system. Sorry I can’t come into work today. I’m completely back bogged.

Brownie baker (noun) – someone who spends an inordinately long time on the toilet.

Calculated crap genius (noun) – someone who is able to time/schedule their bowel movements with seamless precision. When I went camping with Suzie she didn’t need to go once. I’m telling you, the women’s a calculated crap genius.

Courteous crapper (noun) – someone who makes an effort to minimize the odorous impact of their bathroom visit by say, using Spray & Go or opening a window.

Craptastic (adjective) – adjective to describe anything related to poop. I just went to the toilet and let’s just said it was craptastic.

Disrespectful doodie doer (noun) – someone who makes their visit to the bathroom as uncomfortable for others as possible by say, leaving the door open or making gratuitous grunting noises.

Excremently (adverb) – used to describe anything related to poop. He left the bathroom excremently smelly or He’s been in there for an excremently long time.

F - J

Ghost poop (noun) – when you swear you’ve done a poop but when you look down there’s nothing there. Also noun as Phantom Poop” or “Houdini Poop.”

Having the ploos (verb) – when you’re feeling blue about your poop cycle. Sorry for being so short before. I’m just having a really bad case of the ploos. I haven’t gone in days.

Home game hitter (noun) – someone that exclusively poops at home.

K-O

Lunch break ripper (noun) – someone who routinely spends their lunch breaks in the restroom.

Lax in, lax out (verb) – when you’re trying to flush your system for say, a diet cleanse or colonoscopy.

Marking toiletary (verb) – when you’re pooping and you leave a skid mark on the bowel. Roger! If you’re going to mark toiletary could you please do it in the kid’s bathroom?

Moistnesphere (noun) – the warm damp conditions that take hold of a bathroom immediately after someone has ‘offloaded.’

No-go zone (noun) – the window of time after someone has gone to the bathroom and it’s still not safe to enter.

P-T

Pattie oven (noun) – alternative name for a bathroom.

Peemailing (verb) – when you catch up on emails or personal admin while on the toilet. If anyone needs me I’ll be peemailing.

Poogling (verb) – the act of looking anything poop related up online.

Poologost (noun) – alternative name for a gastroenterologist.

Poop and scoot (verb) – when you’re in a hurry and forget to flush. Also known as the ‘Dump and dash.”

Poopanoid (adjective) – a feeling of paranoia about being overheard pooping. There was a line of people waiting so I got poopanoid. I couldn’t go!

Pooper snooping (verb) – when you inspect a poo immediately after doing it.

Second Wave Poop (noun) – when you think you’re done but then a surprise second wave of poop comes along.

Secondhand sewer smoke (noun) – when you enter a bathroom and there is a lingering smell from the previous offender. Ugh! There is a serious case of secondhand sewer smoke up in here.

Seamless exrementution (noun) – when you successfully offload a substantial dump without any of your colleagues or house mates noticing.

Shart (verb) – when you go to fart but a little bit of surprise poop comes out.

Splash-backside (noun) – when the splash from your poop rebounds high enough to hit your backside. I hate using the toilet at grandma’s. It always gives the worst splash-backside.

Stage fright fanny fudger (noun) – someone who cannot go if there’s anyone in the vicinity.

Toot shoot (noun) – alternative name for a toilet.

Toilet tat (noun) – a toilet skidmark.

Turd nerd (noun) – someone who has an expansive knowledge of the bowel and its behavior. If can’t afford the doctor then you should speak to Sharon. She’s quite the turd nerd.

Turdacious (adjective) – adjective to describe someone who has no reservations about where they poop, when they poop, or who hears them poop. James is a great housemate but you should know, he can be very turdacious.

U-Z

Usain bog (noun) – when you manage to get all your business done in record time .

Submit Your Own!

Are you full of craptastic terminology? Perhaps you fancy yourself as quite the turd nerd? Then why not share the love? The Turdasaurus is open for submissions and we’re waiting to hear from you! Simply plop your self-inspired, pooptastic definition down in the box below and if we like what we see, we’ll add it to this list! And the best bit? All successful submissions will be rewarded with a FREE bottle of Spray & Go! Get crapping…we mean cracking!